Success

"I dedicate my life to learning, not to success." I said this to my farther today and he nearly was choked up. I found it funny, enlightening almost. I found that missing puzzle piece I was looking for today. Time to finish it tomorrow.

The Ranch

One year later and this shit turned upside down. It went from fabulous and wonderful to just shit. I used to love working for Carmel Valley Ranch but the management has made this place a nightmare. Maybe I should said the lack there of management and leadership. It's always been said if you want to do something right you do it yourself funny thing is our management delegates everything to everyone else. It's a far cry from management. It reminds me of a freshman in college telling a bunch of seniors the best way to pass classes.

The food and beverage director is a joke. The night manger is a joke. I'm really losing patience. It's hard to put up a smiling face and deal with this day in day out grind. I'm done if nothing changes

Another day

I've been busy. I've been having trouble finding time to spend with my mom. It then occurs that you want all of my time, the time I can't even give to my mother or father. I told you I couldn't meet your expectations. And now I've lost that spark due to the need that I can't please. Sorry. But I'm on another path than you and I hold the reins

Tucked away

It's a long time coming. I've been in this little town for nearly 12 years now. I'm expanding and heading out of state to an undisclosed location, for a week away from it all. I don't know why but I am excited as ever and really ready to experience such an awesome opportunity away from my closest and dearest relatives, friends, etc. I'll be on a mission, solo. Nobody but myself and my accomplishments to rely on. Scary, no. Exhilarating, yes. I've been discovering new things about myself in this time of change. No girlfriends to hold me back from discovering love, no parents to bug out over dumb things. Just me myself and I. Living in a world full of individualists, I am a humanist loving my fellow man and woman for what they are and what they perceive themselves to be. We all have an image of ourselves, but that never matches others images of you. The truth is the real you is tucked away and inside. And it won't be let out until the day you, yourself, let it. Be comfortable with yourself, learn to embrace flaws of yourself and others and just live to live. Enjoy every second. Otherwise why live at all. Sink in, dig deep, and love life.

In progress

Like was said before, the ghost is with us. Now it has escaped and run rampant into the world we live in. It was time for it to happen because the ghost being held back wasn't meant to be around in the first place anyway. She meant the world and dropped the gall, but I told her the more she tried the harder she'd fall. I now know that the truth is evident, no lies no money just precedence. We tried our best and thats all that matters but I'm on my way and the glass around you shatters. Im sorry to say but the option is gone, not because I've lost hope but because yours is all wrong. The love never failed, just lost its direction and now I am here without any reflection.

Ghosts of the past

The strangest thing came up this morning upon a realization that I was just sleeping. It happened almost 4 times. In and out of dreaming and reality. But what was odd was the topics of the dreams. Missing school, old girls id met, crazy action adventure, love, hate, and life. It was so strange to think that everything that haunts me could come out in one night. Make itself clear to me in just one night of head over heels dreaming. I was with a ghost too. An actual ghost if anyone can beieve it. I didnt at the time until it was made apparent.

Not only was I living and breathing right next to this ghost, but she was living and breathing too. A ghost from the past that has never been set free. Why you may ask? I dont know and I wish I did because not only is she not set free but I am stuck too. Infatuaion, Ive come to the conclusion. oh well.. life goes on with her.

Connections

Months since the last blogs were entered onto the giant database of internet storage. I was thinking about the information that travels through the internet, the traffic, and it reminded me of start wars.. The planets that were completley city without anything but a concrete jungle. A trip indeed. But you know life is just like that, almost like the interworkings of a brain. Everything is connected, through 16 diferent connections or not, there is a path between yourself and the minds and thoughts of others. Ive always thought that the coincidences that occur arent just hit or miss, and the arent planned out either.

Lets say someone is stopped at a shopping center, on there way home from work. And someone they know is in the same shopping center but differnet places. That closenss the connections that have been made in the brain are closely related between the two people, since some connections have but made and lost in the presences of eachother. Almost like in the movie hancock, there is stronger connection as soon as your close to someone you know. Almost like psychic connections. Outside of the body but still electricly connected as to program the brain to act or perform differently in the presence of different people.