Currently

Surreal isn't it. Is it giving up if there is no passion for the thing you are considering to let go. I've tried my best. I've made mistakes but not costly ones. I am what I am and I can't change that, maybe I deserve to get pushed around. I feel taken advantage of but there is no way to explain it to anyone. I have allies but I don't want to get them involved. I love this property and care for out guests as if they were my own in my house. I guess that's not enough. It takes sacrifice and determination. I made it this far. Time to make moves and boogey. Love to Carmel Valley Ranch and the employees. You are all troopers and put up with mountains of adversity without giving up. And you put up with it every single day. As we increase our average occupancy, each person has to increase their productivity for this thing to work. It's madness but the idea of maximum effort,  Go until there is nothing left, is definitely being practice right now. To the unknown. 

Senior year

The time I want to relax. Not happening buddy. Time for focus. Time for determination. Lets keep moving through and not stop. It's funny how during these desperate times money can't solve a damn thing

Success

"I dedicate my life to learning, not to success." I said this to my farther today and he nearly was choked up. I found it funny, enlightening almost. I found that missing puzzle piece I was looking for today. Time to finish it tomorrow.

The Ranch

One year later and this shit turned upside down. It went from fabulous and wonderful to just shit. I used to love working for Carmel Valley Ranch but the management has made this place a nightmare. Maybe I should said the lack there of management and leadership. It's always been said if you want to do something right you do it yourself funny thing is our management delegates everything to everyone else. It's a far cry from management. It reminds me of a freshman in college telling a bunch of seniors the best way to pass classes.

The food and beverage director is a joke. The night manger is a joke. I'm really losing patience. It's hard to put up a smiling face and deal with this day in day out grind. I'm done if nothing changes

Another day

I've been busy. I've been having trouble finding time to spend with my mom. It then occurs that you want all of my time, the time I can't even give to my mother or father. I told you I couldn't meet your expectations. And now I've lost that spark due to the need that I can't please. Sorry. But I'm on another path than you and I hold the reins

Tucked away

It's a long time coming. I've been in this little town for nearly 12 years now. I'm expanding and heading out of state to an undisclosed location, for a week away from it all. I don't know why but I am excited as ever and really ready to experience such an awesome opportunity away from my closest and dearest relatives, friends, etc. I'll be on a mission, solo. Nobody but myself and my accomplishments to rely on. Scary, no. Exhilarating, yes. I've been discovering new things about myself in this time of change. No girlfriends to hold me back from discovering love, no parents to bug out over dumb things. Just me myself and I. Living in a world full of individualists, I am a humanist loving my fellow man and woman for what they are and what they perceive themselves to be. We all have an image of ourselves, but that never matches others images of you. The truth is the real you is tucked away and inside. And it won't be let out until the day you, yourself, let it. Be comfortable with yourself, learn to embrace flaws of yourself and others and just live to live. Enjoy every second. Otherwise why live at all. Sink in, dig deep, and love life.

In progress

Like was said before, the ghost is with us. Now it has escaped and run rampant into the world we live in. It was time for it to happen because the ghost being held back wasn't meant to be around in the first place anyway. She meant the world and dropped the gall, but I told her the more she tried the harder she'd fall. I now know that the truth is evident, no lies no money just precedence. We tried our best and thats all that matters but I'm on my way and the glass around you shatters. Im sorry to say but the option is gone, not because I've lost hope but because yours is all wrong. The love never failed, just lost its direction and now I am here without any reflection.